Change!

And once again our lives are changing!  
I actually love change. Too long in one "spot" seems to leave me dreaming of something new! Maybe that is why we have moved around so much.
This time we are not moving away. It is our children who are making all of the changes!

Leaving for the MTC! 

We have just arrived home from dropping our dear son, Nathan, off in Provo Utah at the Mission Training Center. He will be there for a few weeks before heading off to Halifax where he will serve a two year mission for our church. Although we have been planning this for years, it was still hard to drop him off and drive away.  I am grateful for emails and happy news that he is doing well and not homesick at all!

Saying good bye

Our dear Mackenzie is starting the countdown for high school graduation. She is making summer plans that don't include anything on my big brown paper summer calendar that I make every year. Instead she is planning her own adventures with her friends. Then she will be off to college and maybe a mission of her own!
I am excited to see her branch out and explore her world. This is what I have been working on their whole lives~ getting them ready to make it on their own,  But boy oh boy, it is hard to be left behind. I wonder and hope that I have given them the tools they will need to be happy and successful!

It could be 3 1/2 years before they see each other again!
 Glad to know they will miss each other!!

Even our dear Jacob is making plans without me and is excited for his own adventures.  He will be 16 in a few weeks and is planning his first date with a sweet girl. They will be double dating with his dear sister and her date.  He was very clear with us that a double date with mom and dad is just NOT cool!! Whaat???

There are always many changes with the "Littles". Our five year old is finished with preschool and getting ready for kindergarten. He is need of a bigger bike and we are even talking about taking off the training wheels! Our 2 and 3 year old are working on mastering the potty. Their favorite words these days are "Me do it" and "I do it myself"! 

All of these changes are wonderful, positive, exciting and expected.  I am grateful to be the mom and to have a front row seat to watching it all unfold!
I will still take out the big roll of brown paper, draw on some calendars, make some plans, fill in the days and go on my own adventures with whoever will come with with me. Maybe some geocaching, a trip to the zoo, swimming lessons and a hike in the mountains!  We will continue to make more memories but I will always cherish the memories of years gone by!

He didn't even look back!!
Love this guy!

 I hope you enjoy the changes of your day!  I plan to!

To Everything There is an Opposite...

It has only been 5 days of taking a daily picture. And although they may not be gallery worthy, I am learning so much already.  It is interesting to spend time looking for those things that are photo worthy.  So far it seems to be the normal everyday things that I feel compelled to capture.
This is making me realize that life is pretty darn good! Yes I have messes, nights of very little sleep, dishes in my sink, daily tantrums- the kids too, scheduling conflicts, runny noses to wipe, mountains of laundry, repair man who don't show up, toilets that break, little ones running fevers and Christmas decorations needing to be put away... that is just this week!
But mixed up in all of this... chaos is so much joy.  Joy in the snuggles, the giggles, the little successes of each day.  Watching the wonder in the eyes of a little one discovering the sparkles in the snow, discovering that all of our hard work is paying off and that the children really do love each other as we witness them serving one another, loving the little moments of peace that come when we need them most.  
I believe that there is so much truth in the need for balance and opposites. We have to have the mess to appreciate the tidy, the tantrum to enjoy the smiles, crowds to love the solitude, noise to notice the quiet.
Today I am enjoy some time alone as the children and dear husband are all off on their various adventures. The house is quiet, I am sitting down to eat my breakfast! It wasn't that long ago that this was a regular occurrence and my heart yearned for a bit more purpose, my arms ached to be a bit more full.  Because I had those days, I can love today, I can feel gratitude for all of it! Yes, life is good!

I hope you have time to enjoy the opposites in your day... I hear the children coming home, I know I will!! 

We are Further Ahead Than We Feel

I opened up my blog this morning wondering what I would write about. So many thoughts going through my mind, but none of them seem complete or enough to fill a post.  I am also feeling a bit discouraged with the progress I am making with my ideals. Limiting screen time is proving to be harder then I thought it would be and funny, but the members of my family are determined to use their own agency and not follow everything I want them to do...hmm
Then I gazed over at my 101 goals down the side and noticed an amazing thing! There staring me right in the face are 3 goals all accomplished and I didn't even realize it!
As a parent I often feel like I am always playing catch up~ with house work, laundry, scrap books, laundry, meal prep, teaching important lessons to my children,  laundry, losing those "last" 25 lbs., giving my children enough quality time and there is ALWAYS laundry... in most aspects of my daily life I feel like I am constantly running behind.
I think I have mentioned it before but one of my favourite books is Mitten Strings for God by Katrina Kenison. I like to read it every few years just to help me refocus on what is important and where I need to be placing my time and energy. 
This work that I am doing as a mom is so important. There isn't anything else that fills this space for me. I had about 14 years of trying to fill the hole I felt in my heart before we opened our door to these sweet "Littles".  Now it is full to over flowing and I am content and happy.
BUT that does Not mean it is easy and unless we are looking it is hard to feel very accomplished. Let's face it many a morning my hair doesn't get brushed until... well I have to leave the house. (Some days that is not at all!). Many times I realize way too late that I have goopy hand prints on the front of my shirt where some little one has reached up to get my attention. Quite often the music going around in my head is Wheels on the bus or the theme song from the big Purple dinosaur and Not something from the latest record charts. And as I am writing this, every door knob in my house is sticky or crusted over and there are dishes in my sink...
But I spent a little extra time this morning giving warm snuggles to a little one just waking up, I helped trace little hands with purple crayon on sheets of paper, I listened to my Dear Mackenzie share her plans for the day, I looked through a book order form with a sweet boy and got excited about his favourites, I helped the "Littles" clean up a big jar of buttons and enjoyed finding ones that were sparkly or a favourite colour and remembered the joy of looking through my grandma's button jar. I have enjoyed arms being wrapped around my neck in hugs and kisses and witnessed big smiles and giggles...
So Maybe, just maybe I am not as far behind as I thought!

I hope you enjoy finding the accomplishments in your day, I plan to!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Part 2

I love having the school year end so my little chicks can be home and have a break from the  routines and structure, but I also love having school start so that we can get back into routine and structure! I'm such a fickle mom!
Today is the first full day of school.  Yesterday they went to pick up their schedules and get a locker.  They were home by lunch time! I still managed to get some grape juice canned and find my kitchen, but there is still a ton to do to regain order and control!  I am looking forward to it!
Aww control... Back to school also brings adjustments with Jacob's schedule. Feeding him before 10:00 am, getting him to bed on time so he can get up in the morning and figuring out his day at school.  We have a wonderful school to work with!  The administration, teachers, bus drivers, EA's (educational Aides) and students are amazing to listen and work through what needs looking at.  I am grateful.  But I always find myself debating over what to bring up and what to let go.  I have come to see that I like to have control and it is the most difficult when it comes to my children~ especially Jacob who can't speak up for himself.  (Although yesterday when we were talking about having him eat lunch in the cafeteria he let us know with out a doubt that he did NOT want that to happen!)
My goal is always to be a part of a working team trying to do what is best for Jacob and those working with him.  I never want to be the cranky mother pounding my fist on the table making demands, (I haven't found that to be very effective) but there is a fine balance between what to fight for and what to let go.  Sometimes I get it right and sometimes I don't.  I am grateful for the patience of others.
It is one part of being Jacob's mom that always keeps me guessing and I don't always like being that person who has to rock the boat. But lets face it, sometimes we don't get very far with out a few waves!  I hope that I am getting better at letting others have a turn at the ores. That's what this journey with Jacob seems to be about, learning and growing.  Some times it can be painful, but for the most part it is a beautiful experience! One that I appreciate everyday!
I hope you have  beautiful day, I plan to!

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All Is Well!

I have been away for a bit.  The end of March landed us in the Alberta Children's Hospital with our dear Jacob.  What we thought was the flu was quickly re diagnosed as a bowel obstruction.  Surgery was done and after two and a half weeks we were sent home.  I had my computer with me and had thought I would blog and keep everyone up to date, but every time I tried to write, nothing would come.  So I took a break. 

Jacob is back to school and although we are having a few issues with feeds, he is back to his happy, cheerful self.  He has been back to school for a couple of weeks.
It took me a couple of weeks to be able to put a clear sentence together and catch up of the lack of sleep.  A hospital is not a place to rest.  Although I understand it, it was still hard to handle having Jacob just drift off to sleep only to have a group of nurses enter the room to do safety checks and take vitals.  I have to admit I got testy a time or two. 
Can I just say we had amazing nurses!!! There were two that were a bit harder to take, one spoke to us like we were idiots.  I don't do so well with that, but she was on when Jacob came back from surgery and I was so grateful!  He had a bit of a scare and she knew her stuff!  I was glad she was there leading the way.  The other was new and needed a little reminding that the enema water should be body temperature, not tea temperature!  My confidence in her was shot after that and that was tricky.  But we had nurses that fought our battles for us, reminding cleaning staff that sleep was more important then washing the floor, talked to doctors to make needed changes and some who listened to a sleep deprived, fearful mother and gave the comfort and reasoning needed.  All treated Jacob like their own and he received the best care! Those amazing people who decide to use there time and talents caring for others, I am so grateful!  Thank You All!
We had amazing family and friends help in so many ways too!  Some brought meals, treats, conversation, others brought hugs, my children, hope, relief, socks, clean laundry and all brought love and comfort! 

I learned a few things through this experience too. 

• Always trust your instincts. A parent knows their child better then anyone. You need to advocate!
• I need a video of Jacob's "normal".  Jacob gets very quiet and withdrawn when he is in pain and it would have been good to have an example of what the norm is.  That way those caring for him would know he really wasn't handling the pain well.
• Always pack lots of cozy socks!
• The parent bed is chilly!  Take your own blanket. (But oh thank goodness it was there!)
• There is comfort in your own pillow too!
• Taking care of yourself is just as important as caring for your child!  If you crash, everyone is in trouble!
• I can go without sleep better then I thought!
• Everyone handles these things differently and we should NEVER judge!
• We are stronger than we think!

I am so thankful that Jacob is happy and well once more!  I am grateful I live in a place where health care is easily accessed and comfortable.  And amazingly enough, I am grateful for all that I have learned through this experience. 
 
I hope you have a healthy day!  I hope to.