Have you ever had one of those days when you just can't seem to get out of the negative thinking? Where life seems to be all wrong and you can't see a way past it?
Last night about 2:45, I woke up to the dog whimpering beside my bed. I tried to ignore him but realized I couldn't remember the last time anyone had let him out. I got up and let the dog out. (Grrrr) Let him back in, checked Jacob, untangled him from his blankets, went back to bed, tossed and turned, worried about our septic tank, (we are having troubles), worried about selling our house in New Brunswick (anyone out there moving to Bathurst?), worried about Nathan's math exam, worried about his grades, worried about his future, (it was 3:00am... things can get big really quickly), hear Jacob fuss, thought about waking Colin up so I could keep worrying in peace, started listening to the peaceful rhythm of Colin's breathing, started to be annoyed that he could sleep so peacefully, wondered if our realtor was worried about selling our house, wondered if I should wake up Colin and ask him what he thinks, got really annoyed that he is still sleeping so well, tossed and turned some more, wondered how the dog could sleep, worried that we are behind on his shots, worried about Mackenzie's shots (she is due for updates), worried about Mackenzie's future, wondered if Colin realized his breathing was so annoying, wondered if I should wake him up and tell him, start to think about...Polly Anna?... wonder if the movie is available at the library, wonder if all the books got back to the library, worried I would never be positive again, wondered how to change that, worried I would never be able to get up in the morning, worried about all that needed to be done, realized a nap was out of the question....
At some point I must have fallen asleep because I awoke to Colin cheerfully nudging me and telling me it was time to get up. GRRR.
Okay I'm crazy, but come on you can't tell me you have never had a night like mine. (You are just smart enough not to relive it by posting it on the Internet!) But I have to say, things seem much better this morning as they always do. I realize that all will work out. It always does. I can see I have so much to be grateful for! So Today I can see I might get that nap I was worrying about, But before I do I am headed to the library to get a copy of Pollyanna and I am going to start my own version of the "glad game"!
Let's see...the septic field is plugged and the septic tank is overflowing...I am glad... I don't have to do any laundry today!! Well it's a start ;)
I hope you have a cheery day...I plan to!
