Here We Go Again!

No We are NOT moving! But we are taking another look at change.
It happens every so often, when we are faced again with the reality of Jacob's Cerebral Palsy.  I like it best when we see Jacob first and then his CP, but sometimes things switch up for a bit and our focus must go back to the innate details of Jacob's condition instead of the big picture with all of it's joy and goodness.
Maybe it is because we are back in Alberta and focusing so much on getting him set up with specialists and equipment that I am feeling this again.  There is a lot of talk about what use to be future things like a van with a lift, lifts in the house, bigger wheel chairs, what will happen when we can't lift him into our laps and snuggle him like we do now and I have to admit I find it a bit overwhelming and sad.  I have been able to be very hands on up to now and adding so many "helps" feels like I am going to lose that closeness.
I went through this when he was 5 and we were faced with having a g-tube become part of his existence.  I fought the idea for a long time and now, it is just what we do.  I am even grateful for it.  
Although Jacob is 12, ( I can't believe it!)  he is in many ways still our baby (don't tell him I said that!).  The thought of bringing in a lift system to help in his transfers and bath time or help get his chair in  and out of the van feels very clinical to me, yet I can't ignore how difficult it is to get him in and out of the tub, up and down the stairs or in and out of the van. 
I guess this is change.  Usually I love change.  But I like things the way they are now.  I know where we are and I understand it. I love my relationship with Jacob.  I love being his mom and all that that entails.  And just like when we have to train a new EA (educational Assistant) the Mama bear in me comes out and I want to do it all my self. But just like with his wonderful EAs, I must hold on the the hope that someday I will look back on this too and it will just  be one of those things we just do, a blessing in our lives that we are grateful for!
I hope you have a great day...I hope to!

New, New, New

There is just something wonderful about a new year, a new page, a new day, a new start, new beginnings...
Well I had great hopes for 2013.  Goals have been set and alas, here it is almost February and I am only now beginning.  But I shall begin!
November was spent working on getting MacAdee's up and running. I spent many hours cutting out and sewing my new creations and more hours sitting  at sales watching peoples reactions to my dear "babies" and hoping that they would be good enough and accepted.  I am happy to say that for the most part I have been very pleased.  There are always a few that turn their noses up and walk on by.  But there were others, like those who were trying to talk their friends into buying a little jacket or jumper because they themselves didn't have any little people in their lives to buy one for.  Those are the ones I cling to and that help me to know that I will continue to create!
December was more sewing and nursing my dear family members back to health.  We have all had the flu at least twice and are so happy to finally be enjoying our health once more.  Throw in Christmas and visits from family and you have a very full and crazy month. 
January has been spent recovering. Looking back at 2012 has lead me to wonder if I didn't just need a breather to get me grounded and able to refocus. 
So, Yes, January is more then half over, but I am again feeling excited about the new year ahead and the grand adventures that are waiting to be experienced.
My Goals for 2013...I want to get my spring and summer line ready to share.  I have reorganized my office and work space and am ready to make that happen.

...I also want to focus on something that has been rolling around in my head for years.  I think I am brave enough to share it...

I want to connect with other families who are on the path I am on. Those who are just beginning the adventure, that is, living with a family member with a disability and those who are in the thick of it.  I know there is a power that comes from sharing and reaching out to each other.  I am feeling inspired to reach out.  I have been working on a business plan and on some presentations that I want to share and hope that this is the year I will be able to travel and share my experiences. 
I am adding more info to the contact tab and hope that as I prepare, the way will be made known to me to make this dream a reality. It is a big one for me and I am constantly fighting the voice in my head that asks "who do you think you are?", and "no one is going to want to hear from you", or my favourite, "you are no expert, and you think you can be of help to others?".  This is usually followed by great laughter...But you know what, I do have something to offer.  We all do and if I can help bring us together so we can lift and support each other, show that there is hope and that life is good, that will be enough.  I know I wish I had had someone in the beginning, as I brought our sweet little bundle home from the hospital, terrified at what the future had to hold and not knowing if I was strong enough to handle it. 
So these are my goals.
Oh and I want to plant a garden!  Yup, I think that is it...here's to the new!
I hope you are enjoying your 2013...I plan to!

A Long Road Travelled!

It has been months since my last post...so much has filled the time!
In February 2012, my dear husband received a phone call from a former colleague wondering if he would be interested in a job at a college in Alberta. So for the last eight months we have been planning, packing, and moving across this beautiful country of ours.
Most of the family was very excited to be returning "home" to Alberta, some of us, okay mostly me, struggled to find the joy in the journey!
You see, New Brunswick was a wonderful dream for me.  I made extraordinary friends, I had a lovely piece of land to explore, my dear chickens to tend, Hogan to walk and the sea to fill my soul.  It was a time in my life that I will cherish always. 

But I have been told that change is good.  It allows us to get out of our comfort zones and learn new things about ourselves. So -Here's to growth!
I'm not one to shy away from adventure and discovery.  I am excited about this new journey we are on.  I plan to dive in and immerse myself in the...wait a minute, I'm in Alberta I don't know that diving and immersing are quite right.  Let see...I plan to swagger forward and rustle me up some discoveries and grand explorations. I crave to see and appreciate the joys that are right in front of me.  I am ready to change my focus and enjoy the journey!
I hope you will join us on our ventures!

So Happily Tired!!

I am feeling much better!  Thank you all for your well wishes and concern.

I am Exhausted and it has nothing to do with hitting my head on the ice!  I have just spent the week end with a van load of teenagers!  Friday afternoon we packed the van and headed to Hampton for a Super Saturday with other teens from all over the Maritimes.  Every time I do this I am amazed that there are really good young people out there.  Hope for the future and all of that!
Saturday morning I watched four or five kids in a group visiting, soon it was 6 or 7.  The circle just kept getting bigger and bigger.  It was wonderful to watch little groups join together to make a big happy circle.
They laughed, shared stories and there might have been some showing off too.  I was grateful that my darling children were part of it all. 
I couldn't help thinking back to when I was that age.  I am happy that my children have this opportunity.

Jacob and Colin stayed home this time.  Jacob was very excited to have some time with his dad.  I gave him strict instructions before leaving Not to give all of his hugs and snuggles away, but to save some for me.  And I got the big mischievous smile I always get when I tell him this.  They were heading to rent movies and grab some treats. Sometimes being left at home is a good thing!

I love these great people I call family and I am joyful for the time that we spend together.  Things change so quickly and before I know it the time will be gone.  So I feel happy for the exhaustion.  It means I have been building memories and spending time with some really amazing people on the greatest journey of all.

I hope you have a memorable day with the people you love, I plan to!

Trip to the Emergency Room?

I love to travel.  I get excited over packed suitcases, travel size shampoo and words like itinerary, journey and adventure.
But there are some trips that just aren't fun.  Last week a good friend of mine and I decided to take our dogs and go for a walk along the railway tracks (yes, another exciting word!) I had Hogan, my beautiful, sweet, yellow lab/retriever, on a very long rope that I could step on if he got too far a head.  He isn't very good at just staying around like his dear friend Rosy, who sweetly runs along beside us.  But I have discovered that if he feels a leash on his neck he doesn't go too far. We, my dear friend and I, were getting along quite nicely talking and laughing.  Until...at the end of the trail Hogan decided it was time to play and ran quickly a head before I could get a hold of the leash.  The further he away he got, the more I panicked.  We were not in my neighbourhood and I had visions of lost dog posters and a staple gun.  I wasn't in the mood.  So I took off running after that crazy animal and before I knew it, I was looking at a sheet of ice and thinking 'this can't be good', then I was looking at the sky!
Apparently it is not a good thing, after hitting your head on a very hard surface if you can't put a sentence together or remember what you've just said.  And people, even or maybe especially, family look at you funny when you repeat yourself too many times. So off to the emergency I went to see if the memory lapses and throbbing head was anything too serious.  Of course it was now hours later.  I had made a call to my husband, my mother and the tele-health nurse to get a second opinion to make sure I wasn't going to be wasting my time.  I know, I know...if it had been one of my children, I would have been there before we could check to see how dilated their pupils were!  But when it comes to myself, I tend to take the wait it out and see approach.
Well after 31/2 hours in the waiting room, an x-ray of my neck and correctly answering questions like, 'what is your name' and 'do you know what day it is', I was sent home with a diagnosis of a slight concussion and list of symptoms that would require a return visit to the doctor.
But wait, I did learn something through all of this.  If Hogan runs away again, all I have to do is fall down and he comes running right to my side!
Oh the joys in the journey!
I hope you have a great day and keep your feet securely under you.  I know I hope to.

A Fresh Start

For the past year I have been blogging about going T.V free on findingyouandyourfamily.blogspot.com  It has been a great year and now I am excited to move on to this new/old blog.  I started it when we first moved here and it didn't go far.  I sort of fizzled after a few posts.  I had changed the kids names, but now that you know us anyway, I will use their real names.
So what is this blog about?  It is about our travels, those we take in the van, on foot, over water, in our heads, but mostly in our lives.  Hopefully we are moving or travelling forward everyday.  This will be a place to share the itineraries and progress of these travels.
I hope you will join us on our adventures...it could be fun!

Writer's Block

Have you ever noticed when you start to take yourself seriously that you react in unexpected ways?
When I decided to start this blog, I thought it would be a great way to keep my family and friend posted to what we are doing and maybe touch on some inclusion issues that we run into. As I began to give people my address, I got nervous. All of a sudden I felt I needed to write something great and inspiring...something worthy of attention.
So I wrote nothing.
Well I don't mean to disappoint anyone, but I need to write for me. So I am just going to write everyday about what is happening and if it inspires, bonus. If not I guess this is more for me then you. Sorry. But I hope that you will share your comments and maybe we will both be inspired!